1000 Ways To Die Blake Style
by AngelofTheDawn08
Summary: Okay here is a giant CrackFic, this will be in chapters, so the chapters will be short. It is about the character I hate most in Criminal Minds, Blake Serious character death, lol This does have some slash, gay and straight. Please enjoy, comment if you want her to die in a certain way. Some chapters will be crossovers.
1. Bloody Mary

Warmongering: Character Death, funny, crackfic

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, but I do hate Blake

A/N: okay so my friend had to write a death fic for a challenge and she got blake, so I got inspired. Their short, but oh well right. Not beta'd but read through at least 3 times. So ENJOY! comment any ways you want her to die, I'll probably do them!

1000 Ways to Die, (okay maybe not 1000) BLAKE STYLE!

**Bloody Mary.**

It was a odd day for the B.A.U., a day to relax. And after so long none of them really knew what to do. So Garcia and JJ deiced that it would be nice to have like a family party thing, lots of alcohol, so it was bound to be fun. Once everyone was justly drunk, Garcia prompted that they play a worthy game. And after much fighting they picked, Truth or Dare. Yes Hotch did have a bourbon fueled hissy fit about the fact that he did not want to play. But after much encouragement, Hotch reluctantly agreed to play the game.

So let the games begin, right? The first to go was and overly excited Garcia, who then spun the bottle and it landed on Reid, who reluctantly picked a dare. Garcia was happy and quickly devised a dare so sinister that most would cringe. Garcia said Reid would have to kiss Morgan. He blushed red, and walked slowly over to Morgan, who was still spell bound at the fact that he would get to kiss his very own pretty boy. As Reid finally made it to Morgan, he kneeled in front of him. And Garcia added that the kiss had to last 2 minutes. Reid huffed and made the most adorable pouty face. But he still grabbed Morgans face softly and rose up to his height to meet his eyes. Then out of no where, the Passion of the Gods was let lose, as Reid and Morgan went to town, who knew that they had so much undying love hidden for each other. Lol. Hotch, blushed and looked away and while Rossi chuckled. Where Blake was extremely appealed, and Garcia and JJ knuckle bumped and giggled and were sad to say that the two minutes were over. And Reid and Morgan sadly separated, yet still sat next to each other.

And now it was Reid's turn, he got Rossi and dared him to try to make Hotch smile, and all it took was a hug, and Hotch smiled brightly, which the team hadn't seen for god knows how long. And surprisingly that same hug just seemed to make Hotch a little more care free, and happy. Was something going on there?

Now that it was Rossi's turn, he spun and landed on JJ, who then took a dare to take three shots of expensive vodka, which she complied to happliey.

Now at JJ's turn, she was going to have fun. She talked with Garcia to get a very good dare. Which included Blake, who was now quiet, apparently someone was a homophobe, and everyone knows that's not allowed, so she was now going to be attacked! MWUAHAHA!? lol.

"Okay Blake, Truth Or Dare?" JJ asked, almost as monotone as everyday Blake, not even trying to hid the fact that she was making fun of her.

"For lack of and rational answer, dare, I guess," she answered flatly.

Garcia and JJ almost burst out in laughter with the way her damn lips looked so freaking stupid.

"I dare you, to go into the bathroom and summon Bloody Mary..." JJ tried to sound as creepy as she could manage in her drunken state.

Blake's nostrils flared, "That's not a true urban legend, but fine."

And she made her way to the bathroom where everyone else followed.

Blake strode up to the mirror in the bath room, with the lights off, she looked straight into the mirror and said it.

"Bloody Mary," her face was passive.

"Bloody Mary," you could see her cringe slightly.

"B-L-O-O-D-Y M-A-R-Y."

"JUST STOP PLEASE UHHH IT BURNS, SUCH A HORENDIOUS LIPS! NOOOOOO!" suddenly a figure appeared in the mirror, a women, far rotted, and neck slit clear to each side.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE. IT HURTS, MY EYES!" Mary suddenly caused the mirror to break into big shards, most falling oddly into the sink straight up.

Blake looked to us, shrugged and went to walk out, when she tripped on the rug and fell backwards, and impaled herself on a quite large shard, quickly killing her.

After about ten minutes spent looking at each other and back to Blake, the team bust out laughing.

"Oh, my god, even Bloody Mary couldn't put up with those wall smushed lips longer than 5 minutes."

After laughing for about 10 minutes, collectively making fun of her, the thought it be best to call the cops and her husband.

"Hello?" James asks.

"Um, James we are, pft, sorry to say that, pftt, Blake has passed." Hotch got out, barely hiding his laughter.

"OH THANK GOD, I AM FREE, DAMN LIPS DEFORMED WOMEN!", click.

"HAHAHAHA" was all the team could manage.

"I wonder is Printiss wants her job back," JJ added.

_***Review Please***_


	2. Supernatural

Warning: Character Death, funny, crackfic

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, but I do hate Blake.

A/N: Here is my first CrossOver Fic. Crossed over with Supernatural. Short and Sweet.

REVIEW AND TELL ME HOW YOU WANT BLAKE TO DIE!

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**Supernatural.**

Sam and Dean had been on this case for at least 2 weeks. They were after a Life Sucker, a Shtriga, but instead of feeding on children, she was feeding on the people around her. With a boring monotone voice and lips that looked like they were glued to the wall. Her name was Blake, they knew that much. They also knew that she worked for a thing called the B.A.U. which sounded weird and was going to be a pain in the ass infiltrate.

After searching for 2 more days they found her! In Quantico, Virginia

In the bull pen discussing the next mission they were to complete, something about a psycho in Manhattan. What they didn't know was the true killer right in front of them.

"Dean, what's the plan." Sam asked.

"Walk in shoot with iron round and walk out," Dean laughed, he was hungry and wanted to get this over with, he wanted pie, oh holy sweet cherry pie. He had to wipe off the drool on his face after thinking about delicious pie.

They watched the target closely. Then out of nowhere, quite secretly, Dean put about 7 rounds into her stomach. Effectively killing her. A pause, trying to look inauspiciously as they could manage, Dean and Sam were going to act surprised, to fit in. but then something weird happened.

They all stood up and then started cheering, "THANK THE HOLY LORD FOR GETTING RID OF THOSE HIDUOUS LIPS AND THAT MONOTONE VOICE, UGLY HAIRED, WOMEN." said a tall, lanky, curly brown haired kid.

With that Sam and Dean were both dumbfounded and didn't know what to do so they just walked out.

***Review Please***


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